not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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