508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i came on her dog
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
