he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
