Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
