How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
