So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize