brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize