it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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