genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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