its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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