i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
