its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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