Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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