somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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