she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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