I wish I could punch you in the face.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
