I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
