if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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