thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
