I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
True strength comes from lack of pants
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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