I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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