Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
