Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
