ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
