I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
