we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
