idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
then he tried to convert me to islam
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
