I feel great
I just peed on a car
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
