my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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