I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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