I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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