Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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