I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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