ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
