life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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