He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
