did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
