She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
