We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
