God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
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