dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
