those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
