butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
