as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
