yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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