I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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