he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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