i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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