Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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