just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
