You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Ketchup is God's man juice
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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