the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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