Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
