you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
