Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
