we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
