yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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