The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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